okay, well. off to a rocky start on the whole productivity thing. not so much did i get to the gym this morning before work. forgetting to turn on your alarm is not conducive to pre-work activity let alone actually getting to work on time.

it doesn't help that it is tuesday. my least favorite day of the week. payroll day. and if you're wondering if i should be doing it Right Now because it is due in like 40min. and i'm only half done, you would be correct. what can i say, i'm a real go-getter.

Today:
i will finish payroll and not be distracted by the siren calls of the internet.
i will call my mom
i will call my dad
and tiff too.
i will go to the gym after work
i will go to superfresh
i will stop sucking at life.

I'm pretty sure that i can handle all this, but i'm not making too many promises. you know cuz let down's a bitch.

off to the guilleteen i go. perhaps i will check in later.

don't hate me because i'm lazy. hate me because i enjoy it.

okay friends. a new leaf has been turned and productivity was on the other side. hooray! i'm coming off of an absurdly unconstructive weekend. after getting home at 4am Saturday, i didn't leave my house until 3pm Sunday. i'll repeat that. i Didn't leave my House until 3PM on SUNDAY. and what, you might ask, finally pushed me out the door? was it the need for fresh air? to stretch my legs? to visit with friends? No no silly rabbit, i went to 7-11 to buy Tostito's and Chocolate milk. yes. and what a match they make. i did learn a very important lesson however, when given the choice between Nesquik and Hershey's, Nesquik is the correct answer. but i digress. and lest you think my quench for home was squelched. rest assured that i went back indoors and only left to go to a friends house to watch Soprano's. at 8:30. i'm disgusting.

and what did i do for 24 hours in my house?
Did i fold my laundry and put it away? No. But i did fold half of it and then decide walking across the room to my dresser was a bit of a hike so i put it all back in the hamper.
Did i clean the bathroom? No, but i did take a shower right before my Milk and Chips run. that's at least 18 hours into my personal house arrest for anyone who's keeping count.
Did i Clean the kitchen? No. But i did make a mean cheese dip with salsa and vegetarian chili.
Did i balance my check book? call my mom? did i catch up on emails? No. nope. not a chance. But i did surf the internet until my eyeballs bled, watched enough law & order SVU to make me sleep with the lights on, and slept so much i gave myself a headache. but for some reason, it made me psyched up to run full speed into the week.

Enter Productivity Leaf Stage Left:
i have decided to go to the gym each morning before work so that i can get my ridiculously Slothfull and Loser Ass In Shape. it's audition season kids and mama needs a new job.

Also on my list of to-do's is to actually do some more writing. not that i've been getting emails with unhappy icons somberly expressing their sadness at my very intermittant blogs, because, i most certainly have not. my four readers could really give a rats ass. regardless, this is good for me. i need to work on my consistency kids, and if i say i'ma gonna do it, by gum i Will! ahem.

I might even look into some summer type plans/jobs. it is creeping up on us however slowly we may think the warmth is coming, oh man, it is Right around the corner.

So there you have it. if you're still with me here at the end of this rant. this is Pro-Active Maxx. She's ready. She's willing. And she's able to follow through with more things than just waking up in the morning and shutting off her alarm. i even thought of what i want to do in grad-school if i go. (congrats Tiff!!)

And now i'm off to the shower (oh yes, the second in two days...is it a record? God i hope not.) And back to curly hair tomorrow too.

Shirts Lie

okay, i'm all about self expression. i myself have The most killer t-shirt idea that i cannot reveal here, because it will be stolen and sold to Urban(e) in a matter of seconds. but, i feel as though these t-shirt slogans must be true for the person for them to make any sort of sense and to make any sort of point. So: to all you "shorties" that belie the name. take off the damn shirt. to all you "Yes, they're real", no they're not and everyone can tell, if you don the "cutie", "hottie" or "blondes do it better" (and i will tell you right now that they most definitely do Not...) you better be able to show the goods. and if god forbid any of these mis-advertisements adorn your keister, (that includes "Dancer", pawprints, or a school name) please realize that if you're over 13 you're too old for that shit, and if you're 13 or younger you're too young to have people reading your ass. so basically ix-ne on the ass-writing-a, or whatever (i'm not bi-lingual with the pig latin, i must've missed that day in 3rd grade). so yes. that is that. and if you see me on the street and i have a shirt that says "I'm cooler than you" you better believe it's the truth.

a toast to awkwardness

i've been putting this off for awhile. not putting it off like i put off doing work everyday and google useless information in loo of productivity. but putting it off because the laziness factor in my life is disturbingly high. i disturb myself with my inability to follow through with pretty much anything that i begin. it's a shame really, since i do enjoy it all once i begin. but i digress. in honor of the Toad i have decided to re-start my blog. You and your snarkiness have inspired me! atta boy. and since i do find his humor, well, humerous, it seems we are now engaged. anyway, until i work up the energy to manually move all my old blogs to my new archives (yes, i recognize the contradictory nature of that phrase), go ahead and satisfy your urge to read up on me and my mishaps by clicking this. gosh i love people who are self sufficient.